Entries in category "nightmares"

March 30th, 2006

Pressure

I recently managed to bag a copy of the latest issue of "Dapitan" from Cholo Goitia, and its one hell of a lit collection. Get one if you can, I think the issue's free (diba, Cho?).



In the collection, I read an essay by Joseph Saguid on writers and literary competition winners. The meat of the text, since it was meant as an introduction to the collection and the profanity-inducing lineup of USTEtika winning writers included within, extolled the feats of the said writers in some of the paragraphs. Something like a profile for the writers and their included works. But at the tail end of the text, Saguid introduces a phenomenon happening in the Philippines, which I'll best quote directly from the source:



" . . . sad to say . . . the trend is, writers write only for contests . . . contrary to . . . the west where one has to publish a book first before being . . . nominated for an award or a grant . . . "


This criticism of how creative writers in the Philippines view the importance of winning an award could be pretty spot-on; it might not be native to the Philippines, but it sure is happening. College awards is the dipstick for the budding writer, the Palancas for the, ahem, writer savant. I remember how I accosted Ramil Gulle (author of "Tracks Without Giants" for his criticism of poems I had him chop up at the post-awarding ceremonies of the 16th USTEtika. I'd just won a measly Honorable Mention for a short story then, but he goes and tells me that I am officially of a different league and should submit newer works.

So me winning the USTEtika gives me the distinction of being a better writer.

One of the people from Deviant Art (whose name escapes me, but regularly posts at various deviations by friends of mine) uses a signature taken from the Futurists' Manifesto which goes like so: Regard all critics as . . . dangerous. If we were to take this lightly and apply it sporadically to everyday life, I think it'll translate into something like "Critics are important, but not indispensible."

One of the biggest creative writing critics in the Philippines is the literary competition. The second biggest is the writing workshop. Vince Groyon (author of "The Sky Over Dimas" once, in an exchange of emails, told me that he was frankly quite wary of me applying for writing workshops. One of the outstanding traits of workshops, he further said, is that it hones your writing skills, in exchange for curbing your own personal style. He, along with Marje Evasco, seem to agree that I have a rather refreshing style of writing. The head of the Peaks poetry group has also commented on my writings in the same manner.

Then Natasha Gamalinda, in a YM conversation, tells me that I write like the translated stories of Franz Kafka, and says in the same breath that my style of writing seems to be rather confused (or I think that was what she was telling me. Sorry if I got it wrong! :D). She agrees with Angelo Suarez (author of "The Nymph of MTV" and "Else it was Purely Girls" that I don't write like a Pinoy.

Now, not only am I a confused writer, but I also write like a foreigner.

I borrowed a phrase coined in the blog of Dean Alfar (endorser of speculative fiction in the Philippines and author of the soon-to-be released novel "Salamanca" which was written in a godsmackingly fast thirty days), and dubbed the period between January 1 and April 30 as the Palanca season. This is the time of year where me and my ilk slink back into our caves and force ourselves to come up with passable works to submit to the oldest (if I'm not mistaken) creative writing awarding body in the country.

For the record, I haven't won a Palanca. I submitted the short story "Black Hole" once, but it didn't win. I did, however, have it published in the Philippine Graphic after the results were released. One of my greatest regrets in life is never being able to have a story published in the Graphic whilst it was still under the editorial leadership of Nick Joaquin. If I hadn't submitted Black Hole to the Palancas and had it published in the Graphic instead, I would have had the chance to let Sir Nick read my work. So boo hoo. Flagship story ko pa naman yun.

But there. Do I really want to have "Joust" submitted to the Palancas and render it sterile for the next six to seven months? I know how big an impact having the following words, Winner of the Palanca for so and so, after your name has, but then again, what's stopping me from publishing my works without an award anyway? Or publishing a collection, for that matter?

Personally, I consider myself an Islander in the writing society. I just write, have it sent to the mainland for publishing, collect the money. I don't follow the trends, I don't read the most recent local writers, I don't keep track of the newest literary illuminaries. I don't even go to literary events. I'm happily disconnected.

But there's always this shadow following me around, egging me to do more, to achieve something. In the words of Iñigo last Saturday when people in Jam 218 called our band a fuckin' good time (I take liberties with the wording here): "Tangina meyn, pressure."

Probably true.
Currently reading: Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse 5
Posted by kilawinguwak at 10:07 AM in dreams, nightmares | 4 hoodwinked

March 9th, 2006

And All Hell Broke Loose

The kid swallowed the marble on a dare.  He didn't really care about the consequences, or so he told his 'girlfriend' who stood nearby as he popped the 'jolen' into his mouth after assuring himself that the prize - twenty-two pieces of cheese sticks - was real. 

Several of the kids watching him didn't believe that he would do it.  He wasn't one of the outgoing, popular students from first grade who would do cheap tricks just for thrills.  As far as being brave went, this kid was the kind that would deny, insistently, that he'd pilfered a hundred pesos from his mother's handbag to buy a pencilcase-ful of Flat Tops from the mini-mart in front of his house.  In fact, this kid was flat as tea sans honey.  The entire grade school population was shocked when he agreed to take Tubby Pedro Kulambo's dare on, in exchange for a whole shitload of afternoon snacks.

In one of the classrooms moments before the Flat Kid swallowed the marble before half the school's population, Kiko Manahan was watching Leroy the hamster strongman weightlift two small thimbles filled with cement.

"Leroy is a freak of nature," said Kiko to nobody in particular.

This woke up the teacher dozing at one corner of the room.  "Bata, you have no idea what freaks of nature can do.  And by the way, that isn't a very nice thing to say.  If Leroy were truly a freak of nature, there'd be no stopping him from ripping your head off whilst slowly blending the contents of your upper and lower torso into a hardly recognizable mush.  Really, calling anything you don't understand names is unkind, not to mention unbelievably tactless."

Kiko couldn't say a word afterwards.  He watched Leroy finish a set of exercises.  The hamster was about to tackle another set of weights when the door was thrown open.  

Just outside the very same doorway, the hallway was filled with many noisy children, mostly those who had no interest in the Flat Kid's imminent transfiguration.  These kids were busy with quick after-school homework and fast group games such as patintero, monkey-monkey-annabel, piko - this last with an empty thermos bottle and shiny leather shoes - while waiting for the school bus' departure, the fetcher's annoyed call, the familiar honk of the car horn.

These kids were, in fact, loitering.

The principal was an extremely fat man who smoked a lot in his office and none at all outside of his office doorway - yes, he didn't even smoke at home.  He nominally taught math, and ordinarilly taught discipline with the help of a wide metallic ruler he kept hidden down the ass of his trousers.  Ocassionally, he tortured the younger kids by eating gobs and oodles of chocolate in front of a student kept in semi-cryogenic freezing.

When the little boy, a kid hardly high enough to climb up the stairs that it was a wonder he could go to first grade which was mostly on the fourth floor of all the buildings except for the Annex which was a bungalow so that counted it out, ran through the hallway, stirring up a ruckus of buckets and kids and thermos bottles and monitor lizards and pretty much making a grand shebang of an entrance at the room where Leroy the Freak-of-nature Hamster was busy doing ten bicep curl cycles repeated thrice, that the Principal's nose blew hot, eager steam, a quivering which did not escape his fingers which instinctively dug into his trouser pockets to feel the bon-bons he kept there in case of emergency.  He coughed twice, smeared saliva on his lips and strode through the now silenced hallway to the classroom with the purpose of a tomcat in heat.

"Someone took on one of Pedro Kulambo's dares!" shouted the Minikid.  Kiko gasped and ran out of the room, running back to ask where Pedro Kulambo was at this present moment, then scampered off again, this time on all fours so that he could make up for lost time.

The principal forgot all about his bon-bons when he heard Minikid's bellow.  His skin lost all color, eyes reddened to the point that all the blood in his body was concentrated at that one single point of his physiology.  The last time somebody had taken Pedro Kulambo up on a dare, the school had barely managed to squeak through an iron-clad lawsuit by the victim kid's parents (Pedro had force-fed the kid with a goldfish-tarantula-fox puree). 

The dozing teacher was similarly transformed.  "Boss, we'll have to do something," he whispered, his voice drawn and haggard.

"Of - of course we'll do something," stuttered the principal.   "This was what we created the Max Ybañez Insta-Porter for."  He took out a handkerchief and dried the sheet of sweat on his forehead.  "Come on, get closer.  You woudln't want to lose an arm when we teleport."

The teacher, after a moment's hesitation,  strode forward.  "Very well.  We've no time to waste."

In the one second that the principal pressed the instaporter control button on his wristwatch, the hamster Leroy nimbly jumped out of his aquarium cage, landing on both hindpaws lithely as if he had been doing it all his life.  He regarded a surprised Minikid for a moment, then after twitching his whiskers and a bit of eye-squinting for good measure, the hamster flexed all of his muscles and, in the span of the next couple of moments, grw to about fifty times its original size.  Minikid couldn't even scream as the monster hamster's carnivorodentile teeth cleanly bit his head off.  

 

Monster hamsters, weird kids and a fantastic teleportation system carried around by a fat man with a ruler up his ass! What will happen next??  Stay tuned!  - kilawinguwak

Posted by kilawinguwak at 03:09 AM in dreams, nightmares | 2 hoodwinked
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